Editor note: Law Enforcement Today proudly launched a brand new channel on Pray.com - the largest faith-based app in the world. On that channel is this new series - Sheepdog and Shepherd - where we talk all about God's hand in law enforcement. It's free to watch... but subscribers get all sorts of bonus content - and every single penny donated to our channel gets fully reinvested into telling stories like this one. Thanks for checking it out and helping us to continue to show how God is on the move. Check out the latest episode here.
The newest episode of “Sheepdog and Shepherd” addresses the “invisible wound” of suicide in the law enforcement profession, offering hope and help to those impacted through innovative efforts.
“It was just very shocking and just so sad and torn,” said Trish Buchanan, describing the moment her husband, East Hartford Police Officer Paul Buchanan, died by suicide. “When Paul passed away, I would have just never expected it, even though he had been struggling, you just never believed that, you know, that he could have taken his own life.”
In the early days after his death, she said she was “totally distraught, totally broken,” and admitted, “a little bit angry at God too.” Still, she found comfort in his faith. “I felt like Paul was in such a dark place that perhaps he was at peace now, and that gave me some comfort that knowing he believed in God, he believed in Jesus.”
But she also made a decision that would guide everything that followed. “But I didn't want the darkness to win,” she said. “He had the best heart ever, and yet it took a hold of him, and I wouldn't let that darkness take over.”
Her family’s mission sharpened after reading the note Paul left behind. “He left us a note. And the note had said, make my death an issue and help other people that are like me,” she said. “We didn't know what we were going to do or how it was all going to come about, but it became our mission and our passion in life.”
That mission eventually grew into Believe 208, a run created to bring law enforcement suicide out of the shadows. The effort also funds training, peer support, and wellness efforts. She recalled the moment she felt God pressing her forward.
“So I'm crying one day. I'm driving down the highway, and there's a truck in front of me, and you can barely make out the words, and yet it says, Believe,” she said. “And I said, Oh my god, I started crying. I'm like, that's all I have to do is believe.”
She said she kept returning to the same confession, even when questions stayed unanswered. “So even though I was angry at times at God, I kept repeating, I trust you God, I trust you God. No matter what, I still trust you.”
The turnout stunned them. “So that very first year, we had over 500 people that came out. We raised $23,000,” she said. She added that the focus has expanded to honor other first responders lost to suicide, especially because many families feel forgotten.
“Sadly, but in a good way, we're able to dedicate our race to other officers, first responders, firefighters, corrections officers, that have lost their lives to suicide, because, as you know, there's no memorial out there for them,” she said. “So we've created this memorial table where we lay out all the pictures of those that have given us permission to honor and remember their loved ones.”
Trish’s son, Jared Buchanan, also described years of pain, anger, and the process of rebuilding. “So when I lost my dad, that was 2013 I was so broken,” he said. “I was lost both metaphysically and spiritually. And, and quite frankly, you know, being, being raw, authentic, I was, I was kind of an a*****e.”
He credited a life-altering accident, getting struck by a distracted driver, with forcing him to finally surrender. “Veterans day of all days, November 11, 2019, I was running, and out of nowhere, a distracted driver, I was hit by a Chevy Tahoe,” he said. “And faith has changed my life.”
He also spoke about forgiveness, including the driver who hit him, and the father he lost. “I have, yeah, I have. But it took time,” he said.
Over time, he said he learned to reframe suffering and to use endurance running to break life into manageable steps. “When it gets too unbearable, break it down into each aid station,” he said. “Slow, steady goals until you reach the finish line.” Jared started with a double marathon – 52 miles, and worked his way up to an ultra marathon, running a grueling 304 miles over 5 days.
The Buchanan family has undoubtedly honored Paul’s request, each and every day, through Believe 208 and through sharing his story nationally. Recently, a documentary titled Beautifully Broken was released, detailing the journey they have been through, and focusing on Jared’s healing and finding faith through running.
Trish closed the episode with the message she hopes every officer, survivor, and struggling family hears. “They have to have hope. You know you have to have hope,” she said.
Clear Armor strengthens windows and doors, helping protect homes, churches, schools, and businesses where they are most exposed and when every second counts. Hoping trouble never comes is not a strategy.
With Clear Armor, families and organizations can take proactive steps today to protect what matters most and face the future with greater confidence and peace of mind.
Check out Clear Armor for more.
Comments