This Great American Warrior article is brought to you by our partner, philanthropist, and LEO supporter Trudy Jacobson.
Donna knew from a young age that her calling was to serve others. It wasn’t long after graduating high school that she ended up enlisting in the United States Navy. As a young woman making her way as a sailor, Donna had ambitions to rise in the ranks, learn valuable professional and technical skills, and serve her country proudly.
But fate had different plans and threw her a tragic curve ball.
Not long after enlisting, Donna was the unfortunate victim of a traumatic event – a sexual assault. Like many young recruits, she didn’t know where to turn or what to do. She then compartmentalized the trauma, buried it deep, and convinced herself it was “all a bad dream.”
She went on with her Navy enlistment, believing the assault was over.
But it was not.
Law Enforcement Career
Donna found a new life and career after the Navy with her local Sheriff’s Department in Florida. She spent a total of 21 years in law enforcement and in that time has seen and done a lot. And, according to Donna, the most troubling calls came from incidents involving children.
And she was no stranger to these calls. Since many Floridians have pools, drowning calls unfortunately were common.
But a call came in on June 1st, 2017 that changed everything.
“I can remember that date like it was yesterday. I went to that call, and it was obviously a horrible call. But something about that one was the one too many traumas into my little black box [brain] that I compartmentalized everything in over all those years. My brain, the little black box said, ‘Nope, I'm full, no more. We're done.’ And it just exploded. And every trauma I had ever experienced, from the military to years in law enforcement, everything just went loose in my brain,” Donna told LET in an exclusive interview.
That day changed her. She recalled how everything came flooding back as if the floodgates to the damn opened.
“I wasn't sleeping. I could see the faces, I could hear them. I could not turn it off. It just took me to my knees, and I was a mess. I was crying from June 1st of the incident,” Donna said.
She continued, “Someone who had always been accredited with being resilient and strong and, you know, pick stuff up in bootstraps and go on like I was raised. I was on my knees, and I couldn't stand up. I just couldn't do it. And I was done - I went to a very dark place.”
Ironically, Donna was a member of the Critical Incident Team who handled mental health cases. She knew that part of the system could include taking someone to a mental health hospital. But as a first responder, she feared what that could do to her career – so she avoided it.
But she couldn’t avoid the effects of what she was going through.
“I just kept trying to pull myself out of it. And in a matter of five weeks from the time of the incident, I had a suicide plan,” she said. “It was costing me sleep. It was affecting how I parented, it was definitely affecting my work. And I literally could not hide it. I tried, but I couldn't.”
Donna had an eleven-year-old daughter at the time who she tried shielding her from what she was going through. Since it was summertime and school was off, Donna found summer camps and other trips to send her to so her daughter could simply be away from it all.
“I figured if I did kill myself, I didn't want her around for that either,” Donna said. “It was around the second week of July when I hit rock bottom and I actually had a plan. My daughter was out of town and I said if I'm going to do it, I got to do it. I called my very best friend with the intent of leaving a voicemail on a Saturday afternoon, and he freaking answered! And I just sat there, quiet because, I mean, I was a mess.”
“And then I said those words, ‘I can't do it anymore. I just want to die. I can't take it anymore’. He said, ‘You're not alone’. He talked me through it. We spent eight hours on the phone.” Donna said.
He convinced her to seek help which she did. And it helped.
She had another breakthrough moment when she came across another law enforcement officer and veteran who, from his own experience, recognized what she was going through just by simply observing her in a training class.
This gentleman convinced her to go to the VA. As she walked into the medical building, uncertain of what to do or even what to say, she saw a clear sign.
“I saw a poster behind the lady's head, and it just said, ‘MST, military sexual trauma’. And I just pointed at the poster as tears were coming down my face. And she goes, ‘I'll be right back’,” Donna said.
And that was the start of a long journey of healing.
A Canine Surprise
During the weeks and months following the June 1st call that led to her breakdown, another miracle transpired. Unbeknownst to her, she was on social media posting what she thought were normal, everyday things. But someone read through them and noticed there was more to it than that.
“I'm not going to lie, I got lucky. I was posting things on social media that were, unbeknownst to me, uncharacteristic for me and my veteran brothers who were in combat and had a lot of combat experience who'd battled their demons, right?” Donna said, “That's what we call it, battling the demons. I guess I was talking about some red flags and they picked up on it and I started getting phone calls from guys I hadn't heard from in years. But we were friends on social media and they would say, ‘Hey, how's it going? Everything OK?’ You know, just buddy checks.”
Among the calls from old battle buddies came a friend who, out of the blue, simply asked if she could help take care of a German Shepherd puppy. He knew this would help.
“He says, ‘Hey, I got this pup I want to give you and I think that you need this dog.’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, you’re calling me out of nowhere and you want to give me your dog?’” Donna said.
“It didn’t make sense. But later it was like, ‘Oh yeah, you were in trouble’. And a dog is a great distraction - this dog saved my life,” she said.
And with that, Donna finally started to find relief. She was able to focus on everything that goes into raising a dog, which is an enormous responsibility.
But she didn’t even realize the impact the dog would have on her mental health. In fact, that wasn’t the reason she accepted the dog. But her old battle buddy knew that’s exactly what she needed.
“He was given to me as a distraction, but that was the journey we took. And now he is my service dog,” she said.
Donna Today
She has found the relief she desperately needed but freely admits it’s an ongoing challenge. Some days are better than others, but she continues to fight on, getting better each day.
She has made so much progress that she reached a point where she can help others.
And she does this with Heroes United to Heal, a nonprofit organization she founded.
The website states, “Heroes United to Heal (HU2H) is dedicated to ending ‘Hero Suicide’. Tragically, suicide is the leading cause of death in both our veteran and first responder communities. We plan to put an end to this epidemic by educating veterans, first responders, leaderships, families, and the public about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Injury (PTSD/I) and erasing the stigma attached to it.”
HU2H lists a variety of other nonprofit organizations on their website that are vetted to ensure it's properly managed and can benefit the first responder and military community.
Money raised by HU2H goes towards these nonprofits to further their mission.
To learn more visit HU2H.org and read about Donna’s incredible journey in her book, Courageously Broken.
Read about Trudy Jacobson's other Great American Warrior, Katherine Boyle. Katherine is forging new pathways to help the entire LEO family.
Writer Eddie Molina is a veteran with over 25 years of combined law enforcement and military experience. He now owns and operates the apparel company www.buyherostuff.com
Donna knew from a young age that her calling was to serve others. It wasn’t long after graduating high school that she ended up enlisting in the United States Navy. As a young woman making her way as a sailor, Donna had ambitions to rise in the ranks, learn valuable professional and technical skills, and serve her country proudly.
But fate had different plans and threw her a tragic curve ball.
Not long after enlisting, Donna was the unfortunate victim of a traumatic event – a sexual assault. Like many young recruits, she didn’t know where to turn or what to do. She then compartmentalized the trauma, buried it deep, and convinced herself it was “all a bad dream.”
She went on with her Navy enlistment, believing the assault was over.
But it was not.
Law Enforcement Career
Donna found a new life and career after the Navy with her local Sheriff’s Department in Florida. She spent a total of 21 years in law enforcement and in that time has seen and done a lot. And, according to Donna, the most troubling calls came from incidents involving children.
And she was no stranger to these calls. Since many Floridians have pools, drowning calls unfortunately were common.
But a call came in on June 1st, 2017 that changed everything.
“I can remember that date like it was yesterday. I went to that call, and it was obviously a horrible call. But something about that one was the one too many traumas into my little black box [brain] that I compartmentalized everything in over all those years. My brain, the little black box said, ‘Nope, I'm full, no more. We're done.’ And it just exploded. And every trauma I had ever experienced, from the military to years in law enforcement, everything just went loose in my brain,” Donna told LET in an exclusive interview.
That day changed her. She recalled how everything came flooding back as if the floodgates to the damn opened.
“I wasn't sleeping. I could see the faces, I could hear them. I could not turn it off. It just took me to my knees, and I was a mess. I was crying from June 1st of the incident,” Donna said.
She continued, “Someone who had always been accredited with being resilient and strong and, you know, pick stuff up in bootstraps and go on like I was raised. I was on my knees, and I couldn't stand up. I just couldn't do it. And I was done - I went to a very dark place.”
Ironically, Donna was a member of the Critical Incident Team who handled mental health cases. She knew that part of the system could include taking someone to a mental health hospital. But as a first responder, she feared what that could do to her career – so she avoided it.
But she couldn’t avoid the effects of what she was going through.
“I just kept trying to pull myself out of it. And in a matter of five weeks from the time of the incident, I had a suicide plan,” she said. “It was costing me sleep. It was affecting how I parented, it was definitely affecting my work. And I literally could not hide it. I tried, but I couldn't.”
Donna had an eleven-year-old daughter at the time who she tried shielding her from what she was going through. Since it was summertime and school was off, Donna found summer camps and other trips to send her to so her daughter could simply be away from it all.
“I figured if I did kill myself, I didn't want her around for that either,” Donna said. “It was around the second week of July when I hit rock bottom and I actually had a plan. My daughter was out of town and I said if I'm going to do it, I got to do it. I called my very best friend with the intent of leaving a voicemail on a Saturday afternoon, and he freaking answered! And I just sat there, quiet because, I mean, I was a mess.”
“And then I said those words, ‘I can't do it anymore. I just want to die. I can't take it anymore’. He said, ‘You're not alone’. He talked me through it. We spent eight hours on the phone.” Donna said.
He convinced her to seek help which she did. And it helped.
She had another breakthrough moment when she came across another law enforcement officer and veteran who, from his own experience, recognized what she was going through just by simply observing her in a training class.
This gentleman convinced her to go to the VA. As she walked into the medical building, uncertain of what to do or even what to say, she saw a clear sign.
“I saw a poster behind the lady's head, and it just said, ‘MST, military sexual trauma’. And I just pointed at the poster as tears were coming down my face. And she goes, ‘I'll be right back’,” Donna said.
And that was the start of a long journey of healing.
A Canine Surprise
During the weeks and months following the June 1st call that led to her breakdown, another miracle transpired. Unbeknownst to her, she was on social media posting what she thought were normal, everyday things. But someone read through them and noticed there was more to it than that.
“I'm not going to lie, I got lucky. I was posting things on social media that were, unbeknownst to me, uncharacteristic for me and my veteran brothers who were in combat and had a lot of combat experience who'd battled their demons, right?” Donna said, “That's what we call it, battling the demons. I guess I was talking about some red flags and they picked up on it and I started getting phone calls from guys I hadn't heard from in years. But we were friends on social media and they would say, ‘Hey, how's it going? Everything OK?’ You know, just buddy checks.”
Among the calls from old battle buddies came a friend who, out of the blue, simply asked if she could help take care of a German Shepherd puppy. He knew this would help.
“He says, ‘Hey, I got this pup I want to give you and I think that you need this dog.’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, you’re calling me out of nowhere and you want to give me your dog?’” Donna said.
“It didn’t make sense. But later it was like, ‘Oh yeah, you were in trouble’. And a dog is a great distraction - this dog saved my life,” she said.
And with that, Donna finally started to find relief. She was able to focus on everything that goes into raising a dog, which is an enormous responsibility.
But she didn’t even realize the impact the dog would have on her mental health. In fact, that wasn’t the reason she accepted the dog. But her old battle buddy knew that’s exactly what she needed.
“He was given to me as a distraction, but that was the journey we took. And now he is my service dog,” she said.
Donna Today
She has found the relief she desperately needed but freely admits it’s an ongoing challenge. Some days are better than others, but she continues to fight on, getting better each day.
She has made so much progress that she reached a point where she can help others.
And she does this with Heroes United to Heal, a nonprofit organization she founded.
The website states, “Heroes United to Heal (HU2H) is dedicated to ending ‘Hero Suicide’. Tragically, suicide is the leading cause of death in both our veteran and first responder communities. We plan to put an end to this epidemic by educating veterans, first responders, leaderships, families, and the public about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Injury (PTSD/I) and erasing the stigma attached to it.”
HU2H lists a variety of other nonprofit organizations on their website that are vetted to ensure it's properly managed and can benefit the first responder and military community.
Money raised by HU2H goes towards these nonprofits to further their mission.
To learn more visit HU2H.org and read about Donna’s incredible journey in her book, Courageously Broken.
Read about Trudy Jacobson's other Great American Warrior, Katherine Boyle. Katherine is forging new pathways to help the entire LEO family.
Writer Eddie Molina is a veteran with over 25 years of combined law enforcement and military experience. He now owns and operates the apparel company www.buyherostuff.com
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The opinions reflected in this article are not necessarily the opinions of LET
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